boncey's random Internet stuff

"There was that episode where all the candidates got to shout the word “upcycle” at a..."

Thu, 10 May 2012 11:11:00 +0100

“There was that episode where all the candidates got to shout the word “upcycle” at a torrent of mimsying Brick Lane dimwits. There was that episode where all the candidates got to overcharge idiots for dinner from the back of a van in the name of the street food revolution. This week it’s street art. Next week it’ll probably be remixing Skrillex, or wearing carrot-leg chinos and Instagramming pictures of ironic burlesque performers for their Pinterest boards.”

- Is The Apprentice just too much of the same? | Television & radio | guardian.co.uk

"It feels like an effort to elevate digital creativity above men in tiny hats with fixie bikes and..."

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:12:32 +0100

“It feels like an effort to elevate digital creativity above men in tiny hats with fixie bikes and ridiculous moustaches circle-jerking over putting their office kettle on twitter, or a Google map mashup that automatically zooms in on suicide bombing locations using a feed from the HuffPo, or a cat-shaped 3D printer that poos out racist tweets.”

- mykreeve says “hell, yeah”: The New Aesthetic

Hey, I took this photo!

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 18:34:01 +0100

Hey, I took this photo!

"The gal conducting our training reminds us again that we cannot miss any days our first week. There..."

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 13:06:13 +0000

“The gal conducting our training reminds us again that we cannot miss any days our first week. There are NO exceptions to this policy. She says to take Brian, for example, who’s here with us in training today. Brian already went through this training, but then during his first week his lady had a baby, so he missed a day and he had to be fired. Having to start the application process over could cost a brand-new dad like Brian a couple of weeks’ worth of work and pay. Okay? Everybody turn around and look at Brian. Welcome back, Brian. Don’t end up like Brian.”

- I Was a Warehouse Wage Slave | Mother Jones

(via hackernewsletter)

When trying to book a courier delivery I came across this comical list of items they were unable to...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:49:05 +0000

When trying to book a courier delivery I came across this comical list of items they were unable to deliver for me.

Some sensible, some downright bizarre - what’s with the obsession with car parts?

Aerosol
Air Bag
Alcoholic Beverages
Ammunition
Animals Of Any Form (Alive Or Dead)
Any Item Containing Petrol (Liquid, Gas Or Fumes)
Biological Samples
Car Batteries
Car Bonnet
Car Bumper
Cash, Credit Cards, Debit Cards
Chainsaw
Cheques
Christmas Crackers
Counterfeit Currency
Credit/Debit/Cash Cards
Dangerous Goods
Drugs (Including Prescription)
Filth
Fire Extinguisher
Fish (Live Or Dead)
Gun
Hazardous Goods
Human Remains
Infectious Substances
Juice
Liquid
Lottery Tickets
Meat
Money/Cash/Currency
Oil
Paint
Passport
Perishable Goods (All)
Plant
Printer Toner (International Parcels Only)
Printer Toner (International Parcels Only)
Replica Weapons
Settee
Sinks
Slush Syrup
Sofa
Stamps (Unless Franked)
Toilets
Unknown
Water
Weapons
Windscreen

Using Scrum For Saturday Chores

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:30:45 +0000

Using Scrum For Saturday Chores:

Around 10:30 AM the whole family held a stand up meeting is held in front of the board.
Points were assigned to each task. Just three possible values to keep it easy: 1 = easy, 2 = normal, 3 = hard. Point values of each task were decided jointly by the kids, but Mom & Dad had a veto power. The point values were written on lower right of each task sticky note.
Go!

"I was still working hard to get our normal broadcast lines re-established - so the [iPad] then got..."

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:24:14 +0000

“

I was still working hard to get our normal broadcast lines re-established - so the [iPad] then got passed to our next commentators CMJ and Geoff Boycott.

Boycs may know about batting technique .. but he knows nothing about technology. “What do I do with it? I have never had one of these,” he said, before asking: “Just talk normally, do I?”

Then Aggers glanced nervously as the accident prone CMJ grabbed the device. “Don’t worry, I’ll hold it as carefully as the holy grail,” promised CMJ.

”

- BBC - Adam Mountford: Test Match Special suffers along with England in Dubai

"And just like all teenage girls, Miley Cyrus spends her time plastering her expensive MacBook Pro..."

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:42:25 +0000

“And just like all teenage girls, Miley Cyrus spends her time plastering her expensive MacBook Pro with stickers that reinforce her positive attitude towards life, and then writing LOL at everything anyone says to her online in what appears to be size 288 Futura. This is what kids do these days. Get with the program, grandpa.”

- LOL: Can ne1 c a storyline 4 Miley Cyrus here? WTF | Film | guardian.co.uk

"This happens to sound people all time, you’re doing something mundane one day and you hear this..."

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:24:22 +0000

“This happens to sound people all time, you’re doing something mundane one day and you hear this great sound. My wife has long thought I’m crazy; she probably had to be quiet for a few hours while I recorded a vacuum cleaner. The cracks of my stairs are so clean now.”

- ‘War Horse’ Sound Tricks: Ice Skates for Bullets and Other Trade Secrets - NYTimes.com

"I have a form of attention deficit disorder. I like to pay attention only to things I want to pay..."

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:56:05 +0000

“I have a form of attention deficit disorder. I like to pay attention only to things I want to pay attention to, and cleaning my apartment does not fall into that category. Thus, I live like the Unabomber, but without his sense of purpose. I have, of course, made attempts every now and then to straighten up, but I approach it in the same manner as my taxes — something to be done only once a year, while screaming in confused agony like a cat in heat.”

- Jonathan Ames - The Mess I’m In - NYTimes.com

"What about junk mail?” says Nick. Are you angry about junk mail? If someone has the temerity..."

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:00:10 +0000

““What about junk mail?” says Nick. Are you angry about junk mail? If someone has the temerity to push an A5 piece of paper through your letterbox, offering you a balti meal deal in spite of your pithy homemade “NO HAWKERS. NO CIRCULARS” sign, could you roll with that? Or do you literally feel the serotonin levels in your brain deplete as you drop to your knees wailing, “Why? Why God? Why did you make me British? If only life’s lottery had spat me out in Mogadishu with AK-47 crossfire whistling past my lugholes; instead I’m forced to live here in Broken Britain (St Albans) enduring this misery of ‘slightly late Ocado orders’, ‘haphazard grammar in public signage’, and long nights trolling the local gazette’s letters page about ‘chaotic council wheelie bin collection timetables’.””

- That’s Britain!: Grace Dent’s TV OD | Television & radio | The Guardian

I’m faced with a bank of urinals, each with a 12-inch LCD screen...

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:03:05 +0000

I’m faced with a bank of urinals, each with a 12-inch LCD screen above it that kicks into life as soon as I approach. A digital ad gives way to a fairly rudimentary skiing game, in which I have to guide a skiing fellow down a slope by directing my urine across various parts of the urinal – wintersports meets watersports in a pain-free environment.

World’s first pee-controlled video game: the Time Out review – Now. Here. This. – Time Out London

"These weren’t even people who had direct management responsibility for people who did real work...."

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 19:59:40 +0000

“These weren’t even people who had direct management responsibility for people who did real work. They were part of the diffuse cloud of people who are in charge of the general principle of getting something done eventually, that you find everywhere in most large organizations”

- To become like a cloud provider, fire everyone here « CloudPundit: Massive-Scale Computing

"Before his arrest for murder, Catalan said he never watched “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” But..."

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 10:25:55 +0000

“Before his arrest for murder, Catalan said he never watched “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” But after his release from jail, he became a devoted fan.”

- Man Cleared by TV Footage Gets $320,000 - ABC News

"Ms. DETORO (Consulting Actuary, Chicago): Well, I will tell you I get to travel a lot for my job...."

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:53:03 +0000

“

Ms. DETORO (Consulting Actuary, Chicago): Well, I will tell you I get to travel a lot for my job. And so, when I get to where I’m going, I’m going into a client’s office and working indoors again. But I like the days where I’m running to the airport or I’m driving from my office to a client in the middle of the day. I do like having that opportunity to get out of the office during the day. But I would say, I don’t think I would take it to the extreme that you do. I don’t think it’s something that I would be capable of doing. So, I’m happy that there are guys like you who do do it.

Mr. HENRY (Roustabout, Gulf of Mexico): Yeah. Two nights ago, we had dolphins all around the ship. It was a nice quiet night. The water was like glass. And the dolphins were just swimming around, feeding in the lights around the ship.

”

- A roustabout talks to an actuary…

Workers With Best, Worst Jobs Compare Notes : NPR

"The new candidates look normal enough on the outside, apart from being dressed inappropriately for..."

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:25:34 +0100

“The new candidates look normal enough on the outside, apart from being dressed inappropriately for their age. But then they open their mouths and this nonsense comes out, the same nonsense spoken on grownup Apprentice. They are exactly the same, just smaller, bonsai tossers. And it makes you wonder what’s happened in their lives to make them like this. Should social services be concerned?”

- TV review: Young Apprentice | Television & radio | The Guardian

"But it’s time to acknowledge that I’ve become a character in a Wes Anderson movie. I wear white..."

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 09:25:54 +0100

“But it’s time to acknowledge that I’ve become a character in a Wes Anderson movie. I wear white tennis sneakers from the ’70s. I listen to ambient music. I have dinner parties where I serve Spanish rosé and this softer version of mozzarella that has a lovely, almost liquid center that you can only get at the Italian import store. I do yoga, and I get excited when it’s ramp season. Sometimes I’d really like to punch myself in the face.”

- Will You Be My Black Friend?: Men’s Lives: GQ

"In a thousand Starbucks in a thousand towns, MacBook Airs open in front of them, those damn..."

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 02:44:05 +0100

“In a thousand Starbucks in a thousand towns, MacBook Airs open in front of them, those damn Moleskine notebooks to one side, a coffee made mostly of adjectives on the other and a screenplay to which not one line has been added since last October on the screen, inept men will contemplate the unthinkable horror of having to pretend they’re a scriptwriter by cracking open a corporate-drone Dell and wonder how they’re going to pick up girls then (ignoring the fact that their sleek Air isn’t helping them pick up girls now.)”

- Goodbye to a visionary: How Steve Jobs industrialised cool - Profiles, People - The Independent

(via Voices Of East Anglia: Inside the Oxford Street HMV Store...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 15:46:47 +0100

(via Voices Of East Anglia: Inside the Oxford Street HMV Store in the Sixties)

(via hmvgetcloser on Flickr)

"The company issued a press release last night, announcing that it was “deeply concerned” that the..."

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:36:44 +0100

“The company issued a press release last night, announcing that it was “deeply concerned” that the implicit association is causing “significant damage to our image,” as shallow, materialistic people willing to spend unseemly amounts on ugly T-shirts in a desperate attempt to fit in and/or cling to an ideal of youth is hardly the clientele they want at Abercrombie & Fitch.”

- Abercrombie & Fitch will pay Jersey Shore cast to stop wearing its clothes | TV | Newswire | The A.V. Club