If you have a large enough container, let that bitch freeze. Enjoy your show, go to bed, grab life by the scrote. The center of the ice block will be opaque but there’s enough ice around the edges to get Scientology-clear ice.

When you’re ready to get all ol’ school with an Old Fashioned, grab an ice pick or table knife and chip off a clear hunk just smaller than your Old Fashioned glass. That cube will shine like it’s the mother fucking Dark Crystal and your drink will be richer and lovelier than Kira’s everlasting essence, if you know what I’m saying.